“Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” — 1 Corinthians 15:58

Once upon a Sunday mass, I listened to the priest, during his homily, talk about the importance of ego. I found it somewhat unsettling. Ego is a bad thing, right? At least, that’s how I had viewed it up until hearing this new perspective. I had always believed your “ego” was something to “keep in check” or “not get in the way” of choices and actions. Egotism or being egotistical carry negative connotations of those who think more of themselves than of others. Having a big ego is closely related to narcissism, a personality trait of those who have an inordinate fascination with themselves, usually at the expense of others around them. I had believed a big ego was not only a bad thing, but it could also be a dangerous thing.

The priest described ego as a necessary and valuable trait needed to perform an act of courage. In other words, it often takes a big ego to overcome fear. You have to believe in yourself enough to act courageously. This is true whether you are signing up for military service, running into a burning building, or standing up to give a speech. Most people do not have the self-confidence to take any of those or other similar actions. Their egos are not so big.

I hope I don’t burst too many priests’ egos by revealing, there’s only a small percentage of homilies that I have heard which have stuck with me. Being a life-long catholic, I’ve heard a great deal of them, so even a small percentage is a fair number, but hearing this one in particular was a “change of focus” moment. I stopped trying to hide my ego, and instead, I embraced it. It’s a gift from God!

I didn’t go all “look at me,” but I did begin to recognize how I could use my ego to build the self-confidence required to attain my personal goals. I wanted to be artistic, give presentations, show my work, and write books. For someone like me who was held back and overly protected in my youth, and who faced many obstacles over the years, those goals looked as challenging as flying to the moon. Now as I look back on my accomplishments, I did all that and more, but how? It was a little talent, a splash of skill, a wry sense of humor, a lot of help, faith in God, and a very big EGO!

Why am I bringing this all up now, you might ask? It has been just over three months since I announced the release of my second book, Mémé’s Memory Quilt. Initially, as you would expect, there was tremendous excitement from family and friends. I received accolades from friends I haven’t seen in years, thanks to the help of social media spreading the word. My husband and daughters were so proud of me. My mother was moved to tears. I couldn’t possibly be happier with the overall response I received.

Now that excitement is waning. How often have we heard from celebrities, “you are only as good as your last movie or your last book?” How often have we heard of celebrities suffering from depression, or worse, having committed suicide? An out-of-control ego is something that needs to be fed. Many times, we hear those celebrities cannot handle success, but in actuality, it’s the down time they cannot handle. They need the accolades constantly to feed their enormous egos.

I don’t think my ego is all that big, but I do feel the strain from my “moment” waning. In reading St. Paul in 1 Corinthians 15, he said God graced him when he didn’t deserve it (humbleness), though he “worked harder than the others” (ego), and “the grace of God was with me” (affirmation from God). I believe St. Paul had to have a big ego to have the courage to passionately spread God’s message, and his ego was fed by the accolades he felt from God.

My work has always been about spreading messages I passionately feel are important. In God Gave You a Power!, my goal was to instill in as many children as possible to recognize their special gift and to grow to give that gift to the world (Luke 6:38). In Mémé’s Memory Quilt, my intention is to remind everyone, but especially grandparents, the value of creating treasured memories with children (Deuteronomy 4:9). For twelve years writing this Blog, I have asked you to use your gifts, i.e. your unique abilities given to you by God, to do good for others (1 Peter 4:10).

It is only through God’s grace that I mustered the courage to spread these messages in such a public way, and it is God’s generosity of spirit that continuously feeds me and my ego. However, that being said, I still need you to buy my books and help me share the messages.